Bare Bottomed at Birchwell by Roger Benson, 1962
With selected drawings by Miss Fran
Edited by Mrs. Angie Heart
Published by Bared Affair Publications
Chapter 12: The Bejeweled Box Conspiracy
Longtime readers will recall that the two shapely nine-teen-year-old maids in the aristocratic Agatha Webster’s employ – Shirley Doolittle and Marie Costermonger – had received strict punishment canings for their hijinks while on holiday in the English seaside resort town of Brighton.
Specifically, as a result of being influenced by two delinquent “Teddy Boy” youths, the girls had paraded their pulchritude in skimpy polka dot bikinis and high, white patent leather spike heeled pumps in front of a leering and slobbering assembly of male personages. An unsavory local tabloid newspaper – The Brighton Bugle – had covered the event with “revealing” photographs. When the publication was brought to Miss Webster’s attention, Shirley and Marie’s fates were sealed – and their bottoms were striped.
On their officially sanctioned time off, the two girls would go into the nearby village of Wopping Stoat which, in the High Street, boasted a modern-style coffee bar complete with a juke box and an area for skirt swirling jive dancing, which both of them enjoyed immensely.
Here the girls met two handsome but disreputable Teddy Boys, one named Alfie Pecker and the other Lemmy Cockley. What the girls lacked in intellect (and it was a considerable deficit), they more than made up for with promiscuity! In consequence, it did not take long for the lads to divest the oh-so-willing girls of their skimpy, sin-black nylon panties.
Alfie, before being fired for indolence, worked briefly as a painter’s helper for Mr. Norman Goodfellow, a respected local craftsman who had done work at Birchwell. This had provided young Alfie’s eager eyes an opportunity to peruse the many treasures that made their home in the grand country house. In particular, Alfie’s avarice-filled eyes spied a bejeweled silver box which, as his subsequent “research” revealed, was an Eighteenth Century heirloom worth many thousands of English pounds sterling.
As for Lemmy, he worked as a junior clerk and messenger boy for a local travel agency. The immoral but crafty lad had soon learned how to procure airline ticket blanks which could be forged to provide a fast escape to warmer climes. Young Lemmy had also made a contact who could, for a price, provide passports on a rush basis.
One weekend evening, when Alfie and Lemmy had concluded enjoying the pleasures of the flesh (to wit, that of Shirley and Marie!), they informed the girls of their wicked plot. Specifically, Shirley and Marie would purloin the box, deliver it into Alfie and Lemmy’s eager hands, whereupon the immoral youths would sell the goods to a local fence, one Herbie Slymster. They would then make a hasty escape to sunny Spain with their nubile girlfriends. Shirley and Marie – picturing a life free of onerous maiding duties and imagining themselves parading their pulchritude poolside in abbreviated bikinis and high spike-heeled pumps – eagerly endorsed the evil scheme.
And, within a few short days, the wicked deed was done. Shirley and Marie carefully wrapped the box and addressed the package to Lemmy Cockley in care of the travel agency. Learning that lovely Lorna Jane Welworthy and pretty Patsy Maidenly were going into the village on an authorized shopping trip, the two naughty maids approached the girls and asked them if they would mind dropping the package off. Poor, innocent Lorna Jane and Patsy were easily duped. It never entered their minds that such perfidy was taking place. They made the delivery and, in so doing, delivered their own sweet selves into the most dire distress imaginable!
Enter Scotland Yard
It was Miss Webster’s eagle-eyed assistant Miss Frobisher who noticed the box was missing that same day. She immediately informed her employer, who promptly used the telephone on her imposing desk to contact the Chief Constable of the County. When a person of Agatha Webster’s position called, action was instantaneous. Within an hour, Detective Chief Inspector Trevor Lashington, Head of Scotland Yard’s famed “Flying Squad,” was mobilized for action. Even the most hardened criminals quailed when faced by this handsome, utterly fearless, and physically imposing officer!
All too soon, a sleek black Wolsley police motor car and an unmarked black van were streaking down the road which led to Wopping Stoat. The six person “Flying Squad” included two burly women police officers who were experts in dealing with young miscreants of the fair sex.
When the squad arrived at Birchwell, everything proceeded like clockwork. Miss Webster and Miss Frobisher entertained Detective Chief Inspector Lashington and his assistant to tea in the magnificent library while the two police women took the prime suspects – a sobbing Shirley and a mewling Marie – down to the cellar. Half an hour later the police women returned, complete confessions in hand. Handcuffed and hooded, the two thoroughly terrified maids were marched to the waiting van. Alfie and Lemmy were arrested less than an hour later.
Miss Webster of course ensured that her dear friend, Lord Justice Bleary, was promptly informed of the heinous crime. Although the Learned High Court Justice had little interest in the lesser judiciary, he decided that this case – given his deep friendship with Agatha Webster – would be an exception. Accordingly, he summoned Magistrate William Wellgate of the Wopping Stoat Court to his High Court Privy Chambers in London.
Magistrate Wellgate, an earnest man who was eager to please, had never been in the presence of a Lord Justice before. Resplendent in his crimson and ermine robes, Lord Justice Bleary ushered the country magistrate to a leather wing chair. “Be seated, Wellgate,” the High Court Judge directed in his booming voice. For the next half hour, Lord Justice Bleary delivered an impassioned monologue – interrupted only by the occasional “Harumph!” – on the Birchwell affair, the evils of the “Teddy Boy Menace,” the merits of strict discipline for naughty maidservants, and the need for stern justice to be done!
“I shall closely observe your handling of this case, Wellgate,” Lord Justice Bleary commented, his bushy eyebrows peaked for emphasis. “A proper outcome will not go unnoticed by we in the corridors of power!” Lord Justice Bleary had left no doubt as to what he meant by “proper.”
Magistrate Wellgate was then dismissed, literally backing out of the imposing Chambers, bowing, scraping and earnestly uttering such phrases as “Yes, M’Lord,” and “As you direct, M’Lord.” He could not have been more sincere in his abject respect for the fabled Lord Justice.
Alfie and Lemmy were dealt with first by Magistrate Wellgate. The two once swaggering, but now cringing, Teddy Boys received a severe tongue lashing followed by a seven year sentence to a correctional institute for delinquent youths. The institute was located in the Isle of Man, where judicial birching was still the order of the day.
Then it was Shirley and Marie’s turn! The two girls, tearful and trembling, stood before Magistrate Wellgate in their snug fitting skirt and sweater sets, sheer nylon stockings and high, spike-heeled pumps.
“Miss Agatha Webster is a leading citizen of this Sceptered Isle,” Magistrate Wellgate began. “During our darkest hour – when Nazi bombers filled English skies – Miss Webster served as an ambulance driver. Her steadfast courage and dedication to poor souls in need was properly recognized by The Order of the British Empire. Now that peace and prosperity have returned to our green and pleasant land, Miss Webster has become a pillar of our society, respected by all with the lamentable exception – it would appear – of two wicked maidservants who conspired with two evil Teddy Boys to perpetrate thievery – thievery most foul.”
After a pause, the stern magistrate continued. “As your confessions make abundantly clear, this is how you rewarded the gallant lady who took you in and gave you the opportunity to serve your betters in one of England’s finest estates. There are no mitigating circumstances. You both shall serve four years and a day at the Steelford Correctional Institute for Delinquent Girls. Take them down!”
Shirley and Marie fell to their knees, blubbering hapless pleas for totally undeserved mercy. Two burly matrons arrived at once, yanked the girls upright, handcuffed the miscreants’ wrists behind their backs, and marched them out of the courtroom with a few noisy, stinging smacks administered to the girls’ tightly skirted, wiggling behinds. A murmur of approval – and even some delighted titters – emanated from the courtroom audience – an audience that included a heavily veiled, dark-suited Miss Frobisher.
Yes, indeed, Shirley and Marie might still parade their pulchritude in skimpy underthings, sheer nylon hosiery, and high spike-heeled pumps, but it would not be to entertain and inflame their naughty Teddy Boy boyfriends in sunny Spain. It would be when they were being marched to one of the well equipped Disciplinary Chambers at the Steelford Correctional Institute for a bare bottom appointment with the professionally designed and judicially- sanctioned Official Punishment Cane!
With a most satisfactory outcome realized in Magistrate Wellgate’s court, the reader might be tempted to assume that our tale is at an end. But it is not! Indeed, our tale continues and involves two very succulently curvaceous tails – those belonging to lovely Lorna Jane and pretty Patsy.
The confessions made by Shirley Doolittle and Marie Costermonger were exceptionally detailed – not surprising, given the “most persuasive” questioning techniques employed by the two policewoman who had been given the pleasurable duty of determining “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”!
The confessions accordingly included details of the role played by Lorna Jane and Patsy in delivering the stolen box into the hands of the criminally inclined Lemmy Cockley. Although it was clear that the two American girls had acted as hapless dupes, Detective Chief Inspector Trevor Lashington did his solemn duty by asking Miss Webster if she wished to press charges against unlucky Lorna Jane and poor Patsy.
“That will not be necessary, Chief Inspector,” Agatha Webster responded crisply. “It is obvious the girls did not know what they were doing. They were, to be sure, very foolish but they were not a conscious part of a foul criminal conspiracy. That foolishness will be addressed through the application of appropriate domestic discipline procedures here at Birchwell.”
Since it would take Miss Webster’s staff agency a minimum of one week to secure replacements for Shirley and Marie, Lorna Jane and Patsy were summarily ordered into maid service. Indeed, the girls discharged their duties with the most servile alacrity imaginable, since they were desperate to demonstrate their deep repentance for their foolish behavior and to make the fullest restitution possible.
Faithful subscribers of this series will recall that this was not the first time Lorna Jane and Patsy had been “made to maid” at Birchwell. Fortunately, the lessons they had learned on that first occasion served them in good stead. Both girls were able to get through the week without making a single error.
At the end of that week, the new maids – Lorraine Barnsley and Rosa Bottomly – arrived. Both girls were 19, exceedingly shapely, and pretty in a common sort of way. Their previous employer, Lady Cordelia Hampshire, gave them a good reference, pointing out that her only reason for letting the girls go was because she had decided to sell her Wiltshire Estate and take up residence in Monaco. Lorna Jane and Patsy were now freed from their maiding duties but, alas, other maidenly misfortunes awaited them.
Specifically, Miss Webster convened a tribunal which was comprised of Lord Justice Bleary, Miss Frobisher, Lady Leechmore and, of course, her own good self. The Lord Justice, impressively robed and wigged, sat behind Miss Webster’s imposing desk. Miss Webster and Lady Leechmore occupied high backed Chippendale wing chairs. Miss Frobisher, in a severely cut dark suit and judicial wig, addressed the tribunal from a standing position. Lorna Jane and Patsy, clad in snug, short sleeved sweaters, tight skirts ending below their knees, sheer nylon stockings, and high spike-heeled pumps, stood on low wooden kitchen stools – hands at their sides, heads bowed in abject contrition. Both were blinking back tears and visibly trembling.
“These girls,” Miss Frobisher’s intonation was cold and precise, “while not conscious members of a heinous criminal conspiracy, nonetheless displayed unspeakable foolishness in fraternizing with common serving girls, a fraternization that facilitated the evil plot. Were it not for my taking timely note of the treasure’s absence – and the rapid action of Detective Chief Inspector Lashington of the Flying Squad – Miss Webster, the Mistress of Birchwell, would have lost a priceless and irreplaceable heirloom. I have little confidence that the Spanish authorities, such as they are, would have been of much use.” The woman delivered this last observation with a perfunctory sniff. “These girls require strict discipline!” Both Lorna Jane and Patsy whimpered audibly.
“Harumph!” Lord Justice Bleary issued his trademark signal that he would now speak and that no intervention would be tolerated. He snapped his fingers in the direction of Lorna Jane and Patsy. “Get down off those stools, girlies, and stand before me!”
Given the tightness of their skirts, both girls had to pull the garments some distance up their full but shapely stockinged legs in order to awkwardly step down. This attracted much interested attention. Soon the two distressed damsels were standing before the frightening Lord Justice.
Lord Justice Bleary now continued. “Well put, Madam Prosecutor. The case is plain. Thievery. Thievery most foul! I am reminded of the olden days and the glorious history of England’s jurisprudence. I am reminded of Judge Jeffreys – a distinguished Cambridge graduate – who, at the age of 33, became Lord Chief Justice of our noble land and a peer of the realm! I am reminded that if you girlies were before him, you would be sentenced to accompany Doolittle and Costermonger on a one-way trip to Tyburn Prison. And a pretty quartet you’d make – standing on the scaffold, bound in your scanties, awaiting the tender mercies of the Lord High Executioner!”
A sobbing Lorna Jane and Patsy felt their shapely, nyloned knees go watery. The girls, of course, did not realize that Lord Justice Bleary was simply enjoying a little “gallows humor” at their expense.
“Harumph! But we live in more permissive times and I – as is known throughout the realm – I am a kindly judge and I shall therefore treat you leniently. Accordingly, tomorrow you shall receive a taste of the olden days discipline of naughty maids by spending six hours in The Old Mill. The next day, you shall be taken to a place of execution at Birchwell Manor and there you will be strapped, strapped on your bare buttocks, strapped on your bare buttocks until they are red! May the Lord have mercy on your naughty bottoms!”
A Few Fearful Hours
The Old Mill was a stone building located about a ten minute walk away from the Great House that was the central feature of the Birchwell Estate. It was reached by means of a narrow path that made its way through a pleasantly wooded area. The Old Mill had not been used for its original purpose for more than 70 years – but, as we shall see, it still had its purpose.
The day after the Tribunal dawned bright and pleasant. A perfect day for a stroll to The Old Mill! Lorna Jane and Patsy were appropriately tearful and repentant as they were prepared for their disciplinary ordeal by Miss Frobisher and Mrs. Cranny, Birchwell’s hard-handed cook.
Both girls were required to strip to their off-white, elastic garter belts, sheer nylon hosiery, and glossy black patent leather spike-heeled pumps. Their wrists were then handcuffed behind their shapely backs and their nyloned ankles secured with manacles having a six-inch connecting chain that ensured that only the tiniest and most mincing of steps would be possible. Lorna Jane was then silenced with a pump gag. The poor girl’s tear filled eyes widened in distress as Miss Frobisher used the squeeze bulb to inflate the device once it had been placed in Lorna Jane’s pretty mouth. Dear Patsy’s gag was equally unique and distressing. Finally, both girls had well lubricated but uncomfortable rubber devices strapped into their girlishly plump, succulently curvaceous bottoms!
The girls were then marched out to The Old Mill. The ankle manacles imposed a constrained form of locomotion that caused their lovely behinds to sway and jiggle in a most appealing fashion. This, in turn, caused the rubber devices in their bottoms to shift about in the most distressing fashion imaginable.
Once in The Old Mill, the girls’ handcuffs were removed and, facing a dank, stone wall, their wrists were secured by manacles dangling from above. Then the girls were left to contemplate their awful fate! As Miss Webster had observed, “A few fearful hours in The Old Mill will give those naughty girls a good sense of what an olden times dungeon was like!”
Most regrettably, The Old Mill was also home to a family of nasty rodents who, as soon as Miss Frobisher and Mrs. Cranny had departed, scurried out to investigate. The horrid little beasts sniffed at Lorna Jane and Patsy’s glossy, spike-heeled pumps, causing the poor damsels the most dire distress! Why, oh why had they agreed to do what they did for those two naughty maids who were now enjoying the bottom-warming hospitality of the Steelford Correctional Institute? Alas, it was now much too late for such belated second thoughts.
Illustration by Roger Benson.
The next day, wearing only their bras, garter belts, hose and heels, Lorna Jane and Patsy were marched by Miss Frobisher and Mrs. Cranny to Birchwell’s imposing Ballroom which, as devotees of this series will recall, is where the “Miss Spanked Teenager Contest” was held.
Once again, Peters – Birchwell’s groundsman and an accomplished carpenter – had been pressed into duty. Specifically, he had been directed to construct two sturdy punishment tripods – the kind that naughty girls are secured to for good, bare bottom strappings.
Comfortable chairs had been arranged to accommodate the distinguished witnesses: Lord Justice Bleary, Miss Webster, Lord and Lady Leechmore, Colonel Canewell, The Very Reverend Gerald Goodsoul, Basil Warpington (camera in hand!), and the ever-present Miss Frobisher.
After the poignantly sobbing Lorna Jane and Patsy had been secured to the side-by-side tripods, Miss Webster announced, in her clear contralto tones, that the sentence would now be carried out – by authority of Lord Justice Bleary – on Lorna Jane and Patsy’s bare, girlishly plump, condemned behinds.
As a gesture in compassion, Miss Webster had designated Mrs. Cranny as Official Executioner and had advised the good woman that the strappings were to be moderate since – although Lorna Jane and Patsy had made a serious error of judgement – they were not conscious co conspirators in the despicable act of thievery. Miss Webster also knew that Mrs. Cranny, as the mother of two now grown, happily married daughters, had the strict but maternal qualities that were appropriate to this particular chastisement. Needless to say, Miss Frobisher was disappointed. She would have relished the opportunity to work on Lorna Jane and Patsy’s succulent bottom cheeks!
Also needless to say, Lorna Jane and Patsy shrieked and sobbed throughout Mrs. Cranny’s slow and highly effective strapwork. And when they were not shrieking, the two girls blubbered out poignant promises of perfect future behavior and that they would never again do such a naughty thing.
When it was finally over – and there were times when Lorna Jane and Patsy thought it never would be – Birchwell boasted two very red-bottomed young ladies who had learned the hard way that participants in the Polite Society Preparation Programme do not have improper relations with common serving girls.
As for the distinguished witnesses, they were well pleased with the proceedings – so much so, a beamingly grateful Mrs. Cranny was awarded a special gratuity of two pounds sterling. In addition, Basil Warpington was particularly pleased that he had loaded his Leica with color film!
Also, more Roger Benson spanking illustrations here.
Smiles and Spanks, NaturallyGin.com